Step by step.

Its been forever.
Since I wrote something.
Been thought about it a lot.
Been busy much.
Been occupied by works.
Well, small steps.

First of 2015. Bismillah.

Coundown #1: The Regrets

In any period of our life, there must be something that we regret.

More than 5 years in IPGKPP, I am left with another a month and half to go.

And lately I been feeling regret.

I am not regret about things that I've done.

But things which I have not done.

Lately, I've been going to gym,

Playing sports especially futsal.

And I felt that it was a loss for me.

The fact that I feeling good with myself,

The warmth from others.

The diversion from works that I need.

Turns into regret when I realize that I miss it for the last 5 years.

And  now time is ticking.

And as Imam Al-Ghazali was saying.

"The farthest is your past time"

:

:

:

:

Wish there was time machine to tell this to my past self.

As Dull As It Is

Most night, having dinner in front of le lappy,
Watching my favourite variety show for over and over again,
Laughing for the same thing for over and over again,
Like hearing those joke for the first time,
Tune up the volume so that I can;t hear my heart is crying
For the dull life I live.

Why?
Why did I have to live like this?
Me,  myself keep wondering about that.
Maybe I expect to much from the title 'friend(s)'
Am I wrong to expect that much after all the things I've done to value the friendship?

And apparently, the higher your expectation, the bigger the disappointment you'll get.

And that is all I got nowadays. Disappointment.
And that what's make me choose to live like this.






Live a life as dull as it is.

Stalker

As a man,
Its hard to differentiate the line between caring and stalking.
You could change from a sweet man into a stalker in the eyes of a woman.
Nowadays, its easy to be look as a stalker.
With Twitter, Instagram and even 4square.
Yes,you could know at least something about someone.
But over use it would turns you into a stalker.
A fact that I just realize a few days back.
I was able to find people just with one hashtag.
But it was accidentally though.

So, just be careful in whatever you are upload online.
Not just woman. Men too.

















-wrote after a talk with gentlemen-

Rude

Some buddy of mine told me many peoples hurt because of my words.
So, I look for what kind of words that actually hurt them.
I scrolled for history of my chat through whatsApp.
I try to reflect back what could have I said.
Yes.
Through reflective session.
I have actually spoke some that might hurt someone,
But not through whatsApp.
But through whatsApp and reflection too,
I actually have said several time of apologize.



So, I'm guessing that people see more of other peoples' mistakes than themselves. They tend to point others weakness instead admit theirs.And I have to admit I could hurt someone else cause of my short-temper. But at least, I admitted it. And most of times, even if it's not me cause it, I even say sorry for them. But then, I am also human. So the first sentence of this paragraph applies on me right?